With all due respect to the people listed below, I will feel a small bit of glee if one them kicks the bucket this year. See, I entered a ghoul pool run by my friend Nicole. For the uninitiated, it's basically a pool that rewards correct predictions of deaths in a given period. In this case, the dearly departed have to be famous enough to warrant a story by the Associated Press and shuffle off this mortal coil before midnight Dec. 31.Neil is appalled by the notion, and perhaps you find it terribly morbid too. That's because you haven't spent much time in a newsroom, a place that breeds cynicism and tough skin. Bwahahaha.
The unexpected consequence of having a stake in which celebrities die: I've been really annoyed after seeing news reports of folks I didn't pick. Edmund Hillary: Crap. Suzanne Pleshette: Whodathunk? Bobby Fischer: Well, heck. And don't get me started on Heath Ledger. I'm still kinda sad about that -- and a little ashamed that my second thought was, "Wouldn't it have been awesome if I'd picked him?" (We had to choose one celeb younger than 30.)
By the way, I was reminded of this Slate podcast on euphemisms for death while writing this post. Think I've used my yearly allotment of them.
Here's my death wish list:
- Fidel Castro
- Beverly Cleary
- Michael DeBakey
- Kirk Douglas
- Mark Felt
- Betty Ford
- Billy Graham
- Suharto
- Mike Wallace
- John Wooden
- Britney Spears (River Phoenix Memorial Category)
Okay, I'll admit to feeling squidgy while writing this and looking for pictures of these people (it's why I stopped at one). Just to clarify: I don't really want them to die, but if they do, I'll most likely do a little victory dance in my head, then move on to feeling sad for their families. My picks were fairly popular among the 10 folks in the pool, meaning they're worth fewer points. Here's hoping the defensive strategy pays off. Or not, and all these people can live into their 100s, and I can live guilt-free.
UPDATE, Jan. 27, 8:42 a.m.: Suharto kicks it! I earn 3.33 points. Two others picked him; each person is worth 10 points divided by the number of folks who picked him or her. My condolences to his loved ones.
5 comments:
This is awesome AND morbid simultaneously -- I love it! And the title is my favourite death euphemism ever....though I fear Mike Wallace may have more time that you think he does.
Yeah, I saw this yesterday (good for him; bad for me): (CNN) -- Newsman Mike Wallace, 90, underwent triple-bypass surgery last week that his doctors have called a success, CBS News said Tuesday. Wallace "is recovering nicely and has taken his first steps," a network spokesman said.
Just curious, who are you? I know a few Michelles, but I'm guessing you're not one of 'em ... Thanks for reading!
Fantasy Celebrity Death League? Gie, this is pretty f&*#ed up. I guess I can't really relate.
No Charton Heston, I see. I suppose one only thinks to pick one biblical epic specialist actor for any given list.
sadly, no. and it really annoys me. heston and arthur c. clarke, both shoulda picked. ARGH. i don't think i can do the pool next year -- again my first reaction upon hearing the news: "did i pick him?" i even said it out loud. lord.
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